When Sober Curious Strikes Past Dry January

At the start of 2025, the previous US Surgeon Common issued an advisory on the hyperlink between alcohol consumption and cancer risk. Whereas this can be a sobering name to motion, there isn’t any denying that sober curiosity has elevated just lately. From Dry January to extra manufacturers creating alcohol-free drinks to the rise of mainstream mocktails, now greater than ever even informal drinkers have gotten sober curious and analyzing their relationship with alcohol.

Final yr in Episode 146 of the FBG Podcast, Sobriety Coach, and Founding father of Sober Wild, Krysty Krywko, Ed.D, joined our EIC Alison for an interview on sobriety. In the present day we’re persevering with this dialog with Krysty. Dry January has handed however definitely not the questions on what we are able to do if we’re fascinated about a sober (fully alcohol free), or damp (a discount in alcohol consumption), life. 

Tam: Ought to we method ingesting as all or nothing, particularly if we’re sober curious?

Krysty: I feel it’s a really private determination, however if you happen to’re any form of a daily drinker (that means three or 4 nights per week “simply to unwind”) then alcohol is impacting the best way you are feeling – mentally, emotionally, and bodily – your physique simply doesn’t know there’s one other approach. If you happen to’re not ingesting through the week, however then ingesting a few bottles of wine over the weekend, you by no means actually get the possibility to see how your physique and thoughts reacts to no alcohol. Anna Lembke, in her e-book, Dopamine Nation: Finding Balance in the Age of Indulgence, talks about how “abstaining from our drug of selection for not less than 4 weeks provides clarifying behaviors. Perception that merely is just not doable whereas we proceed to make use of.” In different phrases, you don’t have any thought how shitty you actually really feel if you’re utilizing a substance that’s making you are feeling shitty. It often takes a couple of weeks to your physique to regulate to the truth that you’re now not consuming a poisonous substance.

Tam: Are there issues/greatest practices to go from Dry January to extra of a Damp February and past? 

Krysty: So, I don’t actually know the reply to that query, it actually will depend on what your motivation was for Dry January. Was the plan to only see if you happen to might make it with out ingesting for 30 days? Or had been you in search of actual well being advantages? Or did you notice that your ingesting has elevated over the previous few years and you wanted to take a break?

Moderation, which is admittedly what Damp February is all about, doesn’t work for lots of people. If you happen to spend quite a lot of time bargaining with your self each time alcohol is concerned, which ends up in quite a lot of “guidelines” round your ingesting, you may wish to take a step again.

You won’t even concentrate on these guidelines. They’ve simply turn out to be a part of your interior chatter. That chatter may sound like this:
I’m not going to drink on my own.
No ingesting earlier than 5:00 p.m.
No laborious alcohol through the week
I’m solely going to drink white wine (or beer, or vodka, and so forth.)
I can’t have greater than two drinks on per week evening.
I can’t drink greater than two nights in a row. 

The tip days of my ingesting had been full of elaborate and arcane guidelines that had been always shifting as I broke one after one other. I used to be letting myself down day by day, and that form of self-disappointment was like a relentless stream of micro-cuts to my soul.

Take a second and take into consideration why you’re placing so many guidelines round your ingesting. You may simply determine that it’s now not price it.

Tam: If somebody is studying this considering “I shouldn’t have an issue with my alcohol consumption however wish to take a extra aware method to what I eat/drink,” what questions must be explored when fascinated about alcohol consumption? 

Krysty: One of many first issues we have to do is transfer away from the language round ingesting and the assumption that there are “downside drinkers” after which everybody else. This results in disgrace, stigma, and judgement.

A way more helpful, and real looking, mannequin to make use of in the case of speaking about alcohol is the concept of ingesting occurring on a spectrum. That’s the place the concept of “grey space drinker” emerged from, which encompasses everybody from the every-now-and-then drinker to those that are bodily hooked on alcohol. The great thing about this mannequin is that you simply don’t have to hit any type of a all-time low earlier than you possibly can discover your relationship with alcohol, you get to determine at any level on the spectrum what’s best for you.

If you happen to’re able to get sincere with the function alcohol performs in your life, I’d recommend sitting down with a pen and paper and answering the next questions. Get inquisitive about your self, and take the time to reply actually. Don’t cloud your responses with disgrace, or judgement, or what your bestie goes to suppose. That is about you and the one life that you’ve, and whether or not or not you desire a poisonous substance to play a task within the creation of that life. 

Is alcohol nonetheless working for me?
How is alcohol making me really feel?
What areas of my life has alcohol taken over?
Does ingesting align with the individual I’m now?
What would “future you” inform “current you” on this state of affairs?

Tam: What if our mates have gone again to ingesting after Dry January, however we are attempting to proceed. Do you have got strategies/suggestions for the best way to make this a part of my way of life with my ingesting mates? 

Krysty: You may want to search out new mates – haha. However, critically, if your pals really respect and help you within the selections you make in your life, then it shouldn’t be an issue. However, in the event that they’re regularly attempting to push you to begin ingesting once more, whining that you simply’re not enjoyable anymore, or that one shot of tequila gained’t do any hurt, then you definately may have to rethink who you’re spending time with. It’s good to work out for your self what you wish to do with the time that you’ve, and the individuals you spend it with. 

Moreover, in case your good friend group is closely immersed in ingesting tradition – that means most social actions revolve round alcohol – then you definately may want to search out some new peeps that love to do various things.

Tam: Any favourite “drink” hacks to interchange that Friday evening cocktail? 

Krysty: I’m essentially the most fundamental sober individual round – and I’m pleased with ingesting a seltzer on my sofa to unwind after a busy week. However, I do know that folks have completely different wants, and I get that within the early days of going alcohol-free you may want one thing somewhat extra thrilling. Fortunately, the alcohol-free market is on hearth! There are such a lot of merchandise in the marketplace – suppose flavored seltzers, glowing teas, alcohol-free beers, wines, and spirits, kombuchas – I actually might go on and on. I’m regularly impressed on the locations the place I discover alcohol-free drinks – Goal, Dealer Joe’s, Entire Meals, common grocery shops, and native alcohol-free bottle outlets are beginning to provide such all kinds. My solely warning is be intentional when utilizing alcohol-free merchandise, particularly issues like alcohol-free wine or beer. If you happen to’re downing a bottle of alcohol-free wine most nights of the week, it’s form of like ripping off one bandage and placing on one other, and also you may wish to discover why you’re caught in the identical behaviors. 

Did you do Dry January this yr and preserve a dry or damp February? What’s your sober curious hack? ~ Tam